Whether you are a romantic or a realist, you can’t deny the fact that divorce rates continue to grow as time passes by. In fact, statistical reports show that almost 50% of total marriages in the United States ends in divorce or separation. Additionally, it’s been reported that a divorce occurs every 13 seconds in the U.S. alone.
Needless to say, a divorce can be messy, complicated, and in many cases, expensive. Aside from consultancy fees and litigation costs, there are finances to settle such as alimony, division of property and joined payment responsibilities, and most importantly, child support.
As law firms in Albuquerque and other parts of New Mexico noted, the level of conflict can highly affect divorce costs. If you want a peaceful and inexpensive divorce, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse must come to a mutually beneficial agreement on all the significant terms of the divorce.
An amicable split will not only allow both parties to be saved from hefty expenses. It also lessens stress, speeds up the entire process, and helps you heal and cope with the changes. In this guide, we’ll discuss several guidelines for a friendly divorce:
Stop playing the blame game
You have probably heard the saying, “It takes two hands to clap.” This adage applies to the termination of a marriage. Despite all the hurtful things that your spouse may have done, you can’t completely eradicate the fact that you had your own fair share of shortcomings.
According to Dr. Susan Heitler of Psychology Today, it’s normal for a divorce to trigger negative emotions like guilt, anger, disappointment, and resentment. However, putting all the blame on the other party or doing certain acts in hopes of revenge will not help but only add to the growing emotional damage. Instead of firing unhealthy accusations, try to build an honest understanding of what both parties did that eventually led to the divorce.
Prioritize the children
If you have children, then you must realize that although you can stop being a couple, you will forever be co-parents. Therefore, you must put your children’s best interests first. Start by both being present when informing your children about the divorce. This will allow you to explain specific matters and answer questions together.
Don’t show anger and violence, as this can cause a lot of psychological trauma. Also, don’t badmouth your spouse. Be careful with your choice of words and be sensitive, especially when dealing with kids who are fairly young. However, don’t sugarcoat. Give simple, genuine statements regarding your split and assure your children that they are loved.
Seek the assistance of a mediator
Schedule appointments outside the house and hire the services of a mediator. This will help you stay neutral and logical, which in turn, aids in reaching agreements more easily and in a professional manner.
Don’t make everything about the divorce
Of course, your divorce is a major issue that will influence your life. However, you don’t have to dwell on it 100% of the time. Keep doing the things you love and don’t miss both personal and work-related appointments and duties unless the reason is valid.
A divorce is often a painful ordeal, but by keeping it collaborative and amicable, you won’t have to make it more hurtful than it already is. Additionally, it’s vital to seek emotional support from your friends, family, and loved ones, as they will surely help you recover over time.